2002 lockies awards

Ok, that was Sting performing his reworking of the theme from the Thomas Crown Affair, titled "Where.gif's of Your Mind". But now the time has come for the first award of the evening, from the In-Game category it's the Most Popular Character! And the nominees are:

And the winner is—gosh, I'm so excited my truss is slipping—oh it's a tie! Yes ladies and gentlemen, your joint winners, and I don't mean they win a joint, at least not until the after-show party, are:

Moot and Creeper!

Of course, Moot can't be with us tonight due to his tragic fiery death, so accepting both awards is Madeleine Browning, aka Creeper!

(Miss Browning's outfit is so stunningly chic and fashionable that it couldn't possibly be described, but that doesn't matter because plebians like you could never look anywhere near as good as she does in it anyway, so why don't you just go wear an old sack you ugly lumps of meat!)

Okay give her a big hand ladies and gentlemen. We're moving right on. Our next category is Most Under-Used Character. The nominees are:

  • Sherpa
  • Moot
  • Creeper
  • Rebar
  • GPS
  • and all the rest of Crawlers.

May I have the envelope please? Boy, are my hands sweaty. That has nothing to with the award, I have a glandular condition. And the winner is, it's ANOTHER split decision! The winners are

Moot and Sherpa!

What with Moot still being dead and all, both awards will be accepted by Sherpa!

(Sherpa's outfit comes from his wardrobe. Puppies come from a mummy dog and daddy dog who love each other very much. Eggs come out of a chickens ass, but it's best not to think about that too hard or else you'll never eat them again and miss out on a good source of Omega-3.)

Doesn't he look great folks? Gee, I only hope that when I'm his age I look half as good and am a millionaire living in a Taiwanese whorehouse.
We're going to take a short break and then we'll be back with more of the Lockies!

Pages: 1 2 3 4 5