2002 lockies awards

Hi everybody and welcome back. Our next award is for Most Startling Plot Development. The nominees are:

  • Paul is Alive
  • Nadine Dies
  • Moot Dies
  • Moot Speaks
  • Vad Moves to Moreland
  • Moreland is Hacked
  • Discovering the Earlier Deaths of Crawlers
  • It Wasn't the Apples

And the winner is, well, he's made a clean sweep of it so far tonight, Moot with his aforementioned tragic fiery death. We now go live to Ivana Bigapare who is out on Shadow Valley Road at the fatal corner. Ivana?

Thanks Payne! Yes folks, I'm standing here on Shadow Valley Road where, on this very curve last April the man known only as "Moot" ran off the road to a death that was both tragic and fiery. As you can see, there are a few small floral tributes laid at the site, as well as a 24 hour photomat booth, a "Mr Chunkee" chicken nugget restaurant, two casinos, a Portugese gay sauna and a sewerage treatment works crewed entirely by trained ferrets. And what a deeply moving memorial it makes for a gentle soul who touched all our hearts with little more than a few well chosen punctuation marks. Oh, and of course that other guy who died here too, Protractor or whatever his name was.

That's great Ivana, we're all deeply moved here, there's not a dry seat in the house. but now we're moving on to the next award, it's for the Most Memorable Phrase. The nominees for this category are:

  • "And then the screaming started."
  • "You knew I was a serpent when you picked me up."
  • "sha-ZAM!"
  • "Don't eat the apples."

And in a clear victory, scoring thrice as many votes as it's nearest competitor, the words on everyones lips appear to be "And then the screaming started." And I know how they feel, because I feel like screaming myself! But there's no time for that because I "sight" our next award, and it's Favourite Website. Your Nominees are:

  • DCMC Platform #2
  • URF
  • Moreland, WV
  • The Pythia.Net
  • NoCars
  • TerraShape

And you're not going to believe it folks, it's too unbelievable to believe, but believe it or don't believe it, we have yet another tie for first place, between The Pythia.Net and Moreland,WV! And the locals here are going nuts. Mind you, for some of them it was a short trip.

(Accepting the award for The Pythia.Net is the actual Serpent, and- wow. So it was them. I'd have never guessed in a million years that *that* person was the Serpent! Gee, they'll never let us reveal this on the recap, aren't you glad you're seeing it live. Wow. That's blown my mind. Serpent, all that time, it was none other than—)

Sorry folks but we have to take a break here, we'll be right back with the Lockies after these messages!

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