2002 lockies awards

We're back with more of the First Annual Lockies Awards. Next up are the twin awards for Easiest and Toughest Puzzle. Nominees for Easiest are:

  • Anything ROT13'ed
  • Kathy Jarrett's Password
  • Vad's Euchre Puzzles
  • GenTel Passwords
  • Screams Vignere

While the nominees for Hardest Puzzle are:

  • White Vignere
  • Beaten Track
  • Where.gif
  • Moreland Password

And your winners are: for Easiest Puzzle, Anything ROT13'ed and hardest puzzle, like there was ever any competition in this, Where.gif!!!!!!!!

(Accepting the award for Where.gif is it's creator, and-oh look, a bunch of rabid Jawbreakers have rushed from the audience and pounced on him. they appear to be beating him and dragging him towards a large circular altar, inscribed with some kind of rune, hmm, I can't quite make it-Oh wait, now one of them is carving out his heart in blood sacrifice while the others chant in sinister monotone. Somewhere a horse dies on a beach while the blood flows into grooves on the altar, filling the rune and, oh its the infinity symbol! Or the number 8 inverted on it's side. Perhaps its some kind of reference to the double-circle shape of the 8 pointing to the circle of death and rebirth, maybe if I calculate the diameter of the human eyeball in latin and square it with its cosine, it will-hey, what are you doing? Stop hitting me, ow, what are you-no, not the dagger! I- AARRRGGHH!)

And while the sexy janitors clean up the bloodbath, we'll move on to our next award. Most Emotional Moment. The nominees for this award are:

  • Nadine's Death
  • Missing Endgame by 1 Hour
  • jamesi & Barbie's forbidden love
  • Hermes' Spiral Message to Moot
  • Endgame
  • Chet's Death
  • Final Where.gif Update
  • Jo Killing Arney

And leading the competition by a factor of 2:1 is Endgame, the moment none of us really ever wanted to come, but rushed towards all the while. Excuse me a moment, I think I have something in my eye *sniff* Ivana, over to you for the next award. BWAAAAAH!!!!!!!! *SOB*

Thanks, Payne. Boy, these really are good chicken nuggets! But these deep-fried reconstituted rooster genitals remind me of our final award for the In-Game Category, Biggest Red Herring. And the nominees for this controversial award are:

  • The Apples
  • Anson Lee
  • URF Flash Animation
  • i_monk in Euchre
  • URF "Red Spot"
  • "Guilty" Skull
  • Sherpa
  • I-Ching

And in a landslide victory, the Biggest Red Herring award goes to The Apples! And boy, they are good. I've eaten maybe a hundred of them since I arrived and they are as innocent as they are sweet. Sure, I have seven toes on one foot, webbed fingers and my skin is sloughing off in blackened, curling chunks, but that's all because of my many undiagnosed venereal diseases. So if you've regained enough composure to not look like girly wuss crybaby, it's back to you Payne!

Great Stuff Ivana, folks, we'll be back right after this with the Out-of-Game categories of the first inaugural Lockies awards!
Coming up next: my dinner.

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